These are the pictures of Pam’s best friend and her brother’s car accident. This accident was caused by the fact that Naomi, the driver, had far more than the legal blood alcohol content in her bloodstream. Add in an argument and you have a lethal combination…
Think on this for a moment, if you will. The different emotions this may bring to your train of thought right now. Sympathy, anger, exasperation perhaps? Are you pointing your finger at Naomi for her foolishness, her carelessness? I think that if she were conscious right now instead of in a hospital bed fighting for her life, she may feel the same. I think the people with her that night will be riddled with guilt for a very long time on how THEY could have prevented this, if only…
Here is a lesson for all of us to learn from. While there may be those of us that feel we have the right to judge Naomi and point our fingers at her in disgust, I feel we should reserve our judgement, as hard as it may be, and pray for her instead. Swallow our harsh words and instead use this as a wake up call. If not for you, then possibly someone you know.
Drinking and driving is so easily avoided and so foolishly done by many people. People who think they are in control but are in fact in control of nothing. In an instant, you can change so many people’s lives. Cause so much heartache and grief. Take away someone’s sunshine or destroy a once whole and happy family.
This post may hit home harder for some than others. Faith, is on my mind when I say this.
I guess what I am trying to say here is this. We all are in control and the bosses of our own selves. What we choose or choose not to do at any given moment, depends on us and us alone. While our reaction may be based on what others have said or done around us, we still make the decisions on what our reactions will be. Naomi chose to drink and drive and the harsh reality is she may lose her life as she has known it for that decision. While it would be so much easier to judge her for this, I choose to instead learn from it and hope beyond hope she will too. I want to put my positive energy towards her recovery and the mental recovery of those who think they could have stopped her. My heart goes out to all of them…
10 comments:
Wow, that is horrible.
It is such a hard thing... from every perspective, from every angle. Yes, some part of us wants to point fingers but at whom? The person pouring the drinks, the person consuming the drinks, the person who drove the car and endangered the lives of herself and others, or the people who allowed her to assume that risk. Indeed, who deserves the blame? All, none, or just one? Who am I to judge? I have made mistakes, too. I am just thankful that she didn't hit anyone else. Too often, drunk drivers hit mini vans with child passengers. Too often, drunk drivers do not learn from their mistakes. It is never easy to see these reminders of mortality and the ease at which our time here on Earth can be shortened -- but it is good. Thank you for posting this. My prayers are with Naomi and her family and friends. May she live to tell the story to others -- to hopefully keep others from following down a similar path.
Lacy
Wow, that's awful. The daughter of close family friends was killed by a drunk driver when he crossed the median on a highway and hit her head on. She lived for a day or so after the accident.
I have such a hard time with drinking/driving because a lot of the time, even after accidents that result in death, the drunk driver does not change his/her ways.
Thoughts and prayers for those involved in the accident.
I agree with you on how hard it is to know what to feel. Many people use something like this as another excuse to dig the hole even deeper. Tough situation and hard to feel sympathy for a person who was so reckless. However, I imagine if this was someone I loved, I might look at it differently depending on which side I was on, if that makes sense.
Brandy-that makes me so sad!
Thank you for posting this. Please keep both Naomi and Chris in your thoughts and prayers, as the weeks are getting even harder.
Sara - Chris's sister-in-law
Remember when Bre was hit by that car going on 30 miles an hour and she died. A great deal of people told me to sue her. " Do Not let her get away with this" they would say. She was not even drinking at the time but people wanted her to pay for killing my little girl because normal this lady was drinking. I even got a letter from a law firm in the middle of the state offing to sue her. I wondered how they even knew about it. The good ole internet and papers. As we know this was all on the news because of donating her oragns. To this day I do not blame her for Bre's death. I never have. We all make mistakes. I hope and pray this young woman makes it.
Sara - lots prayers said here. Pam is lucky to have you for support. Hugs to you too!
Faith - you are a better person than I. I am afraid I would feel terrible hatred for someone like T____. Forgiving someone who took a child from you so carelessly must be so hard, yet neccessary for sanity.
In many ways in my life I have had to learn the hardest thing, forgivness. For me if I dwell on hating I find I get to depressed myself and it makes life harder. I feel if there is any punishing to do my God will take care of it in his own time and way. Do not get me wrong I get very angry at life and people but I get over it in time. I so miss my lttle nutnut (as we called her some times). Again so happy for Spencer!!!! Well and YOU TOO!!
Just curious... as the 4th year has gone by and I am just now reading this.
What was the outcome? Did Naomi make it? Does she have life changing injuries?
How did this affect her life and that of Pam's brother? Does she still drink alcohol?
I read this with a heavy heart as my husband is an alcoholic and has, at times, driven when he shouldn't. I've struggled a time or two on whether to call the police to pull him over before he hurts himself or others or to just pray he makes it home safely. If I call the police... will he ever forgive me for having him arrested? Will my marriage survive this? So lately, I offer to drive him where he wants to go and pick him up when he is ready to come home. For instance... after a long day of yard work... both our house and my mom's next door - and a whole lot of beer to get him thru those hot chores, he wanted to go down to the dock and fish for a couple hours. By the time he finally got ready to go it was 9:30pm and I told him to call me when he was ready or I would pick him up at midnight, whichever came first. I was happy to do this, as it kept him from trying to hide from me how much beer he had consumed and also to let him have a little bit of time to himself sitting on the dock to unwind while trying to catch some fish - which he loves to do.
No matter how tired I am or how I'm feeling that day... I still try to catch him before he reaches in his pocket for those keys and I try to gently reason with him... as after being married just over 20 years I know that my opinion put any stronger to him just sets him off. Then how would I live with myself when he drove off and the worst happened? I remember that day 10 or more years ago because it feels like yesterday as I watched him drive away towing his fishing boat with a 50 foot extension cord dragging along behind him because he forgot to unplug the battery chargers before he left... I stood there in horror not knowing what was the right thing to do. And I thank God that he made it back safely. And I wonder, if I hadn't have fought with him about going... if I had offered to drive for him instead... would I still have this nightmare stuck in my head?
But back to Naomi... knowing firsthand how a drunk reacts to confrontation... is it fair to blame others for her actions? Could they really have stopped her? Only God knows how that alternative outcome may have turned out.
Again... it's been 4 years... but I pray that she made a full recovery that includes living an alcohol free life.
My dear sweet Pam. My heart hurts for you amazing friend. I am at a loss of words to say how brave I know you to be, even with all you face with your own demons every day. I do believe you are his guardian angel. It breaks my heart that you wonder if you are doing the right things...you are so strong, don;t doubt that for one second. I admire you so much!
Unfortunately, as soon as Naomi was recovered enough to leave the hospital, she and Pam's brother went into hiding from the police. Naomi left her young daughter with no word of where she was or even a goodbye. I do know they tired of it and eventually came back with both of them doing jail time. Last I knew, Naomi had not changed a thing , including the drinking and driving. I think Pam's brother may still be in prison...
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